


"To keep you safe"

by DisturbedLizard



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3434999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisturbedLizard/pseuds/DisturbedLizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This fanfiction is in inspired by "Ghost", but I wanted to try to rewrite it my own way and make a lot of changes to it since it had a great plot at the start)</p><p>Dan is a seventeen year old depressed teenager. One day his mother have to go away for a business trip, and leaves Dan alone with a babysitter. But Dan is yet to find out and remember that his babysitter, Phil, had a big part in his life when he was younger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dark forest

//Four years ago, when Dan were thirteen//

It was raining and it was dark outside. The weather was horrible, but the thirteen year old boy didn’t care, he still had to do this. The trees surrounded him as he walked further into the forest. They were huge, and made the forest seem a lot deeper and darker. Dan ran the last bit to a large oak tree. He took a moment to admire its beauty and letting his fingertips carefully touch against the bark. He smiled to himself as he sat down on the ground and pulled out his little wooden box from a little hole in the bottom of the tree. He opened the box, and small little silvery things came to sight. He pulled out one of the many razorblades he had hidden inside. He had longed for this moment the whole day, he had longed for release. 

He rolled up his sleeves and dragged the blade across his wrist. He closed his eyes, feeling his arm get numb as the blood started trembling down. Somehow the numbness made him forget about all the pain he was going through on a daily basis. He was just about to make a new cut when he heard a voice from behind. “You should not do that.” It said, and the little boy, named Dan, screamed in surprise. He turned around quickly to face the stranger. The man was tall, probably taller than himself. He had blue eyes, and for a guy, sort of long hair, but it framed his face well. He looked to be quite a few years older than Dan. “What?” Dan said out of reflexes. “You should not do that to yourself” The other male repeated. Dan quickly hid his arm behind his back, a bit embarrassed. “Are you ok..?” the blue eyed male asked. For some reason Dan felt like he couldn’t lie to this man, even though he was used to making up excuses and faking a smile every day. There was just something about this man, maybe the way his voice sounded, how it felt so caring? Dan didn’t know, but he ended up telling the truth. “No, I feel like everything is hurting, but it’s not physical, it’s a different kind of pain” Dan said while he dried his tearing eyes with his now rolled down sleeves. “I understand what you mean.” The other male said, while walking towards the smaller boy. He carefully grabbed his arm, and looked at the boys scars. “They don’t look too bad, but you should go home and get them cleaned, or else you might get an infection.” He said. Dan slowly nodded, as he put the razor back into the box, and placed it back into the tree. “Let’s meet here tomorrow, okay? And then we can talk and figure out your feelings together, if you want to?” Dan sounded a bit happy as he agreed, and as he walked home his smile only grew. He didn’t know why that man he had only met made him feel like this, there was just something about him. 

The next morning Dan ran out to the big oak straight after school. He sat and waited for hours, but no one showed up. Dan got sadder and the pain only grew. Had the man only tried to fool him? Maybe he tried to create false hope? Maybe he was sitting at home laughing at him, thinking he was stupid enough to believe that someone would care for him? Dan felt the urge to hurt himself again. He thought that he deserved it for being that stupid. How could he actually believe that anyone would care for a selfish, fat, ugly boy as himself? He was just worthless. He reached out for his box, but it felt surprisingly light. He opened the box quickly in fear, and as he thought, all of his blades were gone. But instead, there was a necklace with a little dinosaur charm and a note. Dan slipped the necklace over his head and studied it for a while before he read the note. “To keep you safe. Sorry I couldn’t be there for you” it said. Dan felt a bit better than before, seeing it that the man had actually cared. He still felt a bit nervous though, since all of his blades were gone. It felt like a part of him was missing since this had been his little secret for a long time now, and it would be a pain in the ass to get new blades. Throwing away his blades wouldn’t be enough to get him to stop. The little boy started heading home, thinking of ways to get himself some new blades. It would be hard, but there was no other choice. When he came home he ran up to his room and sat down at his bed. He held around the necklace, feeling some sort of comfort from it. He whispered quietly to himself “To keep you safe.” Those were the same words he kept in his mind every day, thinking that one day he would meet the blue eyed guy again.


	2. Babysitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gets a babysitter, but there is something about Phil, something different about him? Dan can't seem to understand it, or the fact that it feels like they've met before.

//four years later//

‘’I don’t need a babysitter!’’ Dan yelled annoyed at his mother as she packed her stuff. Dan’s mother was leaving town for work, and just because she thought he was suffering from mental illnesses, she was worried that Dan was a danger to himself and wouldn’t let him be alone. “Dan, this is not a discussion. I’ve made this decision, and it’s final.” Dan rolled his eyes at her statement. “But mom! I’m seventeen, you can’t be serious!” Dan pouted. “I’m going to need to know that you are safe, and I’m going to be gone for a while this time, I can’t let you stay home alone.” She said. “Period.” Dan sighed. “How long will you be gone?” His mom hesitated for a moment before answering. “A month.” She tried to avoid eye contact. “A month?! You’ve never been gone for this long!” Dan said in shock, ‘’But, mom! How can you leave me alone with a stranger?!’’ Dan once again yelled at his mother in frustration. His mother rolled her eyes at him. ‘’He’s not a stranger Dan, I’ve known his mother for a very long time, I even used to babysit Phil a few times myself.” She said with a calm voice. “Phil?” Dan repeated. “Yes, Phil. That’s your babysitter.” She said while finishing her packing and checking the time. “Jesus Christ, it’s late! I have to go now Dan. See you later, and be nice to Phil, he will be home in time when you come home from school.” His mother grabbed her car keys and kissed his cheek. “bye honey!” she said and ran out the door. Dan smiled at her and waved with one hand as he grabbed his backpack with the other one. After she was gone he locked the house and hurried to school. 

The school was over for today, and Dan tried to hurry to get home before anything bad could happen. He ran to catch the first bus, and luckily he did. He got on the bus and paid the bus driver, before walking towards the closest seat available. Dan was about to sit down, before he heard a familiar voice call out his name. Dan looked behind him and caught the gaze of some bully named Joe, who attended the same school as Dan. “Ey, what’s up cock sucker?” Joe said as some of his friends came following behind. Dan looked up at Joe for a second and then down again. He really hated those guys, they would always pick on him, and the last thing he wanted was for them to find out about Dan having a babysitter. Dan was scared deep inside of what would happened if they found out, until he got snapped out by a hit in the face. Joe then grabbed Dan by the collar of his shirt and spitted out “Answer my question.” Dan could smell the alcohol and tobacco of Joe’s breath. The bus driver yelled at them, telling them to take this outside. Joe and the other guys withdrew and sat down in the back of the bus. 

Dan nearly ran out of the bus at the stop next to his house. Luckily the bullies didn’t bother to follow him this time. Dan ran inside his house and was just about to go upstairs to his room when he spotted a male in the living room. Dan walked slowly in to the living room to greet his babysitter which apparently was named Phil. “Oh hey, you must be Dan! Nice to meet you, I’m Phil!” the black haired man said. “Yes.” Dan said with an emotionless tone. He was still annoyed that his mom had left him alone with this weird guy. Dan looked at him closely, and he didn’t know why, but there was something recognizable about this man. It felt like they had met before, but Dan couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe he just looked like someone else he knew, or maybe he’d just seen him outside before? They did live in the same town after all, so it wouldn’t be too surprising. “Is there anything wrong?” Phil asked, probably a bit confused of Dan reaction. “Yes, you.” Dan replied, feeling a bit mean, but it didn’t really matter. “Did I do something wrong?” Phil asked with a concerned look on his face. “Everything you do is wrong, you’re not supposed to be here, leave me alone!” Dan said as he ran up to his room. Dan didn’t know why he acted like he did, he wasn’t even angry at Phil, but somehow he felt really emotional towards him. How could that be? He was just a stranger after all. “Dan?” Phil yelled from downstairs. “Would you like anything to eat? Drink? Let’s go outside and buy something, shall we?” he continued. “I don’t want anything. Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” Dan yelled, but this time he didn’t sound that angry. “Please Dan, come down and we can talk about it? It would probably be calming for your mom if we’d get along.” Phil sat down at the end of the stairs and waited. “Fine.” Dan said and finally gave in and walked down to Phil. 

Dan and Phil walked around and looked for ingredients to make pizza. They had decided to make one themselves instead of buying one. Dan was thankful, that way he could decide what ingredients to use, and he would be one hundred present sure of the amount of calories. Dan was very obsessed with his weight and refused to eat more than six hundred calories a day. That way he would lose about 0, 2 kg each day. He’d decided that they were going to make a vegetarian pizza with as little cheese as he could. He had a good excuse since Phil apparently were lactose intolerant, which was a plus for Dan. They ended up walking to the clothing store when they were done paying for all the ingredients. Phil said he wanted to just buy Dan something before they went home. “Pick any shirt you want.” Phil said, and Dan ended up looking at a black and white squared shirt. “Try it on!” Phil said and smiled. Dan did as he said, and tried it on and showed Phil how it looked on him. “It looks great, do you want it?” Phil said. Dan really thought it was a nice shirt, so he nodded with a smile. Phil bought it and they went home to make the pizza. Dan hadn’t eaten anything earlier that day, so he could eat normally for dinner and still be under his daily amount of calories. He didn’t want Phil to know anything about his “problems”, so he was going to try to hide it as best as he could.

When they arrived at home they started making the pizza. Phil made the pizza crust while Dan played angry birds on his phone. They worked together on the rest of the pizza. Their conversation had been normal the whole time, but when the pizza was in the oven Phil asked some questions he probably had been nagging on for a while. “..So your mom told me you had some “problems”. Could you maybe inform me a bit?” the raven asked. Dan looked in to his ocean blue eyes, and honestly, he didn’t know what to answer. “She told you I have problems? Wow, I don’t know.” He lied. He really didn’t want Phil to know those sides of him. “Hm? Is that so?” Phil said, and even though Dan was really good at figuring out peoples expressions, he couldn’t tell if Phil believed him or not. “Yes.” Dan almost spitted out, sort of nervous that Phil wouldn’t believe him, but no questions were asked, but that could also have been because their conversation were interrupted by Phil’s phone which meant that the pizza were done. 

Dan ran up to his room after a really awkward dinner. None of them had talked much, and Phil fucking mentioned the weather, which Dan thought was absurd. Like, what the hell? Why would Phil even assume that Dan would care about the weather? Or maybe he was trying to make it less awkward? He ended up doing the opposite though. Dan locked himself in his room, and for a while he just sat there. He didn’t know what he felt in that particular moment, but as time went by, the guilt grew. He felt guilty for eating. He knew that there was no way he could’ve avoided it, but he felt like he had eaten too much, and it was killing him. Dan knew what he had to do. He literally couldn’t take this, he couldn’t feel like this, and there was only one way to get rid of the food. Dan stumbled into his own personal bathroom and leaned over the toilet. He stuck two fingers down his throat. His eyes got teary, and since he’d been doing this for a while, purging was pretty easy. He couldn’t control his emotions or anything at this point, so he ended up crying a lot. He ended up making a lot of sound because of the fact that he nearly choked on his fingers while throwing up, and that made him cry harder. “Dan..?!” Phil shouted and started knocking intensively at the locked door. Dan was in too much of an emotional state to react, so he lied down crying on the floor until everything went black.


	3. Revealed Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow someone in school spotted Dan with Phil in the store the day before, and thinks don't end quite good for Dan. Also, Phil finds out more about Dan's "Dark side".

Dan woke up in his bed. Not long after, Phil walked in with a glass of water. “Are you feeling okay? Do you want a gum or something to chew on to get rid of the bad taste?” Phil asked with a worried expression. “No thanks, I’ll just drink some water.” Dan said as he reached out for the glass. “If you say so” Phil said as Dan drank half of the water. They both stayed quiet for a little while, neither of them knowing what to say, but then Phil broke the silence. “Dan, you know we have to talk about this...” Phil said, and even though Dan didn’t really feel like doing so, he nodded, because he understood that they couldn’t just pretend like nothing happened. 

“This may be a stupid question, but why? And please do not lie to me…” Phil said, and looked Dan in the eyes. Dan looked away, a bit ashamed. “I felt like I ate too much… I guess I got angry at myself.” His words were merely a whisper. “Still, why? Doing what you did courses much damage, you can’t continue to hurt yourself like that... How long have you been doing it anyways?” Phil looked more concerned than Dan had thought was even possible. “I don’t know, I don’t like my body, I want to get thinner. And I don’t know, a while I guess?” Dan said. He knew though, he’d been struggling with it since he was thirteen, which meant about four years. He wasn’t going to say that though, he knew how fucked up it would sound, and he didn’t want Phil to think negative things about him, even though he probably did now anyways. “Could you please stop? It’s damaging your body and your organs a lot, it’s really dangerous… and you are thin, Dan! You’re probably underweight too, right?” Phil said while rubbing his eyes. “I’ll try to stop…” Dan whispered with a shaky voice while he looked up at Phil. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Dan continued. Phil smiled and answered “Why would I not be? You’re a beautiful person, and in addition people should be nice to one another, right?” Dan had to smile at that reply, and yet again he got the feeling that he had met Phil before, that there was something about him that just felt… like a lost piece somehow? “You should try to get some sleep now. So see you tomorrow, Dan. Sweet dreams!” Phil said, and smiled at him. “Good night, Phil” Dan said, and soon after he fell asleep.

After a few hours Dan woke up by his alarm clock, which he thought had the most annoying sound ever, but who didn’t think alarm clock sounds were annoying? Dan sat up in his bed and checked his phone to see if he had gotten any messages from his mom yet, but he hadn’t. He was just about to stand up and find some clothes when Phil knocked on his door. “Yes?” Dan said, and Phil opened the door a little, taking a peek in. Phil thought that Dan looked tired. “You should get some more rest before you go to school. Sleep one or two more hours, ok?” Phil smiles and Dan thought it was adorable. “Ok.” He said and lied down comfortably. Dan fell asleep within minutes, and it also felt like he’d only slept a few minutes when Phil came to wake him up again after about two hours.

Dan walked as fast as he could to school, and when he arrived it was lunch break. He didn’t feel like eating so he just sat outside the main school building. He listened to some of his favorite songs and didn’t quite pay attention to anything but his thoughts, and his thoughts were mainly about Phil. Dan snapped to reality and it occurred to him what he had been thinking of. He flushed at the thought of his sweet smile, and he hid his face with one hand and tried to stop thinking of him, but even if he found out that he wanted to think of him, he couldn’t now, because suddenly the bullies from the bus appeared. 

“Had fun shopping with your boyfriend yesterday?” Joe said and smirked. “..What?” Dan said and blushed a little. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” Dan said, feeling a cold shiver down his spine as he spoke. His life would be over if they got to know about Phil and he wasn’t even his boyfriend. Dan had never been popular among the kids at school. He only had one friend, who was Chris.  
“Don’t try to hide it Howell, we all know you’re a filthy little whore. I hope you’re enjoying sucking cock!” Joe spat out before kicking Dan in the stomach and pushed him down to the ground. Dan covered his stomach, coughed and gasped for air. He felt sick and sore all over. Joe continued kicking him, and when Dan tried to get up again, Joe just kicked him down. Some of Joe’s friends came not long after, and joined beating him. “Is that why you are late too? Screwing around with that old boyfriend of yours?” Joe said, and Dan answered with teary eyes. “I don’t understand, you are wrong, I don’t have a boyfriend!” Dan whispered, as he didn’t have the strength to even talk normally. “How dare you lie to me, you fucking queer?!” Joe said and punched him in the face, coursing his nose to bleed. Dan cried out in pain, and after getting a knee in between his legs, the school clock rang, which meant that everyone had to go back to their classes. “We’re not done, fag,” one of Joes friends said and spat in his face. Right before they ran off to their classes, Joe yelled “Or maybe you are right, you don’t have a boyfriend, I mean, who would love you?” They laughed and disappeared. 

Dan coughed again, and tried to get on his feet, which was hard since he felt weak, didn’t have any energy, and his whole body was in pain. “Dan? Oh god, are you ok?” a male voice said, and Dan looked to see that Chris, his one and only friend, was running towards him. “I’m ok” Dan said as he coughed a little more. “Obviously you are not!” Chris said with a raised voice and in a concerned tone. “You should seriously go home and get some rest, and also clean your bruises!” Chris said, and helped him over to the bus stop, and luckily the bus arrived not long after. Dan gathered all of his strength to get off the bus at the stop next to his house, and before walking in to his house, he tried to come up with multiply excuses to tell Phil.

Dan tried to run up to his room without Phil noticing, but Phil heard him as soon as he opened the door, and appeared in front of him before he could make much more movement. “Dan? Oh my god, what happened?!” Phil said and hurried over and grabbed his backpack and helped him over to the sofa. Dan was silent, and didn’t really want to say anything. “Who did this to you?” Phil said, and yet again not to get any answer. “Please, Dan…” Phil whispered. “I will go and take a shower now.” Dan said, and walked slowly towards the bathroom. Phil just sat there trying to think of what to do. He didn’t like seeing the boy hurt, well he didn’t really like seeing anyone get hurt, but that was not the point. He had sort of started liking the boy a lot, in a friendly way of course.

In the shower Dan kept thinking one thing. He said the words to himself over and over again. “Who would love someone like me?” He cried but kept repeating it as his tears blended in with the water. After what felt like a really long time he got out of the shower and dried himself with a towel. Now his hair was all curly though, he didn’t really like it, which was why he straightened it every day. He was just about to get dressed when he noticed that he had forgotten to actually bring clothes in to the bathroom. He sighed, and was scared to go out, because he would have to walk past Phil in just a towel. That wasn’t the worst part. Dan was utterly scared of what Phil would think if he saw him like this. He would see his scares and everything, but he didn’t have a choice, he couldn’t just stay in the bathroom forever until his mom got back or something. 

He ran past Phil to his room, and even thought he was gone in a few seconds, that was enough time for Phil to see. Phil was shocked. His body, not only his arms, was full of cuts and scars, they all looked old, but bad. But that was not the only thing. His bones showed a lot. His arms and legs were like sticks, he didn’t really notice before since he always wore sweatpants and hoddies. He thought Dan looked thin before, but this was on a totally different level. After a second Phil ran off to Dan’s room and knocked at the door. When he opened the door Dan was wearing sweatpants and a shirt. All Phil could say was once again “why?” but this time with teary eyes. Dan mumbled something, but at that moment Phil weren’t able to hear anything, because there was something that got to his attention. He was shocked. He stared at a necklace around the younger boy’s neck, the necklace with the dinosaur chain that he gave to the little boy in the forest four years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! Is anyone curious what will happen now? :D   
> How does Phil react? will he tell Dan or not?   
> I will upload a chapter every saturday!


	4. Do you love me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both boys becomes aware of their feelings towards each other, but one isn't quite sure of how to handle the situation, what will happen between them?

Phil snapped back to reality and noticed that Dan was staring at him. He took his eyes of the necklace and looked Dan in the eyes. Phil did not know what to say or do, so he simply asked, “Where did you get that necklace?” He sort could not believe that Dan was the boy he had met four years ago. Dan looked a bit surprised. “Oh, this one?” he said and held the dinosaur in his hand and continued. “I got it from a special person few years ago, it was sort of an apology I think, it’s for luck, or to keep me safe or something.” Dan smiled, and Phil realised that Dan had to be that boy he had met in the forest. He had scars, so why was it so hard to believe? Why did he feel so emotional towards it? “Why?” Dan asked. “Oh I was just wondering, nothing special” Phil said and smiled, but this time his smile wasn’t like his usual one, it was more weird, sort of. Dan did notice that something was a bit off, but he didn't bother to ask. Phil walked down to the kitchen to get something to drink, or maybe he just wanted to get away to think for a bit. Phil didn't quite get why he felt like this, he thought that he was overreacting a bit in his head, but maybe that gave him a better reason to be alone for a bit, to get those feelings away.

Things didn't quite go as planned though. He got to the kitchen, but a few minutes later, Dan did too. “Uh, Phil? Can I ask you something?” Dan said. He seemed nervous. “sure, what?” Phil said, and sat down. Dan walked closer so he stood right in front of Phil, giving him no personal space. “Do you think that no one will ever love me?...that I am not good enough?” Dan says while biting his lips nervously. “Of course I don't think that! Dan, why do you assume that no one will ever love you? And you are a great person, don't think like that!” Phil said, and he truly meant what he said. Dan looked up at Phil and for a moment he looked like he believed what he said, but his face changed in a second. “Well... look at me, I'm seventeen and I haven't even had my first kiss yet...” Dan said and blushed slightly. “The fact that you haven't kissed anyone before does not mean that no one have wanted do kiss you, Dan” Phil said and smiled and pulled Dan in for a hug. Phil's hands around Dan's waist and Dan's around Phil's neck. They stayed like that for a little while.

Dan looked awkwardly at Phil when they pulled away from the hug. For a moment Dan just stared at Phil, like he was forgetting about everything else. Phil looked back at Dan, and before he could say something Dan's lips met Phil's. The first seconds, Phil kissed back. He had to admit, he was fairly attracted to the younger one, but still, it was wrong so he had to ignore his own feelings. He broke the kiss, and looked at Dan with an expression saying “sorry.” Dan just looked at Phil sadly. “Why...?” Dan meant to say, but it came out merely as a whisper. “Dan, I can't go there with you, you're seventeen, it's wrong...” Phil said, looking anywhere but in Dan's eyes. “How old are you anyways...?” Dan said as he tried to keep it cool and not break down. “I am twenty three... Dan, you are too young to like me, please don't...” Phil said, and it must have hurt Phil just as much as Dan. Dan knew he just had to get away from there as fast as possible. He couldn't handle this, and he did not want Phil to see him “break”.

Dan ran up to his room, and Phil wanted to run after him so badly, but he didn't. He wanted to pull the brown-haired boy into a hug, he wanted to just lay beside him while telling him everything was going to be okay. He wanted to stay with him and make him happy. How and when did he start feeling like this? Was he gay? He'd never liked a boy before in his entire life that he could recall, not that he had liked many people. He'd had a few school-crushes, but nothing big, and yet he found himself falling in love with a teenager. 

Dan sat in his bed. His eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, but he felt a bit better now. It was kind of hard to believe that Phil had just sort of rejected him, but at the same time as his mouth had told him something, it felt like his eyes had said something completely different. Dan felt like the room was getting hot as he blushed at thoughts he didn't ever think he would have. Dan felt the space in his pants tighten. He lied down in his bed and took them off. He was sort of embarrassed since he had never done this before, but this was a problem he couldn't ignore. He touched himself slowly while trying to not make any sounds. He rubbed carefully against his tip while sliding two fingers inside of himself. At this point it was impossible to keep his mouth shut, and he started moaning quietly, and without being able to control himself Phil's name escaped his lips. 

Phil felt like he needed to check on Dan to see if he was okay. He thought he should apologize or something, so he ran up to Dan's room. He forgot to knock, so he just opened the door. “Dan, I-” Phil's eyes widened at the sight of the half-naked boy touching himself while moaning the elders name. “Sorry!” Phil said, and Dan looked at him all shocked and flushed. Phil quickly ran out and closed the door behind him. He froze and leaned his back against the door trying to catch his breath, blushing like crazy. He tried to even his heartbeat which was beating like crazy. Behind the door there was a very embarrassed Dan who wanted to just sink through the floor and disappear forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!   
> I really appreciate kudos and comments!


	5. The realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating for a month jfc I suck  
> I'll get better, promise!

Phil lied in his bed, which was originally Dans mom. He kept thinking about what had witnessed earlier. He kept blushing at the thought of the younger naked body. Phil felt awful about feeling attracted to a kid, and he realised that the boy came to his mind a lot more often after the “awkward incident” than before. Phil kept thinking about what he wanted to do with Dan. He mumbled “Shit” to himself, knowing that first of all, things would be awkward between them now. Secondly, he did not know how long he would be able to control himself. The thought of the brown haired and what he wanted to do with him was driving him insane. He rolled back and forth in his bed and tried to relax, not really being able to find any comfortable positions. Dan sat in his room, still shocked. He kept thinking about what Phil was thinking. This was the worst thing that had happened in his entire crappy life. Dan felt like he needed to explain himself so he went out of his room and knocked at the door to Phils room. Dan was only wearing a big t-shirt and boxers. Phil cleared his voice and said, “Come in”, quietly, but nicely. Dan came into the room, and closed the door behind him softly as he turned on the light switch. He blushed lightly and smiled awkwardly at him before he started talking. “Um-h, I want to apologize for earlier… I hope this didn’t make you think negatively of me…” Phil answered, “no- ... It’s okay, I understand. I’ve been a teenager myself, so I know how complicated things can be around a certain age” Dan nodded and tried to look anywhere but at Phil. They both stayed silent, and Phil found himself staring at the younger male as he started biting at the end of his sleeve. “It’s really late, you should go back to bed.” Phil said, breaking the awkward silence between them. Phil stared at the boy as he nodded. The boy started biting his lip, releasing the wet sleeve from his teeth. Dan looked nervous, but what could he possible be nervous for? “Dan, is there something wrong?” Phil asked with a slightly worried tone. “everything’s fine, just…c-can I sleep here…?” Phil was a bit thrown back by the boy’s question, just exactly why did a seventeen year old boy want to sleep with his babysitter? Wasn’t he a bit too old for this? But Phil didn’t want to make the situation more awkward by saying no, and in addition, it was his house. Phil looked at Dan and nodded softly. 

Dan got into the bed with Phil. They exchanged an awkward look before Phil turned to the side to try to get some sleep, and Dan lied on his back, staring up on the ceiling. After a little while he could hear Phil breathing more heavy, which meant he had fallen asleep. He sounded rather cute like this. Dan smiled to himself, tilting his head to the side to look at the other male, even though he could just see the back of his head. Dan turned around to face his back, and got closer. After all, the room was completely dark, and Dan would feel uncomfortable and scared if he lied so far away that he felt more alone. He used to sleep next to his mom once in a while too, because of his fear of the dark. He wasn't sure if his mom had told Phil about this, so he would maybe have a bit explaining to do. Dan lied so close that he could smell Phils sent. Phil had the most wonderful sent ever, there was a mix of vanilla and raspberries. Dan inhaled the sent, feeling safe next to the raven haired man. Dan felt his eyelids getting heavier and he suddenly realised that he was extremely tired. He wrapped his arms around Phils shoulders without realising what he had done, and fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

Phil woke up as he felt his personal space being invaded, more precisely, Dan wrapping his arms around him. He felt a little bit uncomfortable, but that only lasted for a few seconds. Phil realised that he didn't want to stay away from the boy any longer. There was many couples in the world that had bigger age differences than they had. He would only end up hurting them both if he kept denying his feelings. He carefully turned around, trying to not wake up the adorable sleeping boy, and kissed his forehead, and then he wrapped his arms around Dan, just as carefully, and drifted off to sleep again.

The next morning Dan woke up, and his heart skipped a beat. He had never imagined to wake up next to the person he was in love with like this. Phil had seemed like he didn't want to get in any further relationship with him, but this cuddling proved different. Dan just lied there, Phils face a few centimeters away from his own, his lips a few centimeters away from his. Dan just continued to lay there, looking at the beautiful man. His face looked really peacefully, it was quite adorable. After some time, the elder blinked a few times, trying to wake up. Once he did, he looked Dan in the eyes and smiled. “Good morning!” he said with the cutest morning-voice Dan had heard. If Dan had thought that Phils voice couldn't get more beautiful than it was before, he was wrong. Phils morning-voice was the most adorable thing ever, after his face and personality of course. Dan smiled back at him. “Good morning, Phil” he said, sounding really happy.

Dan yawned and laughed as Phil yawned as well. “Ok, let's go get ourselves some breakfast, shall we?” Phil said. “sure, babe” Dan said, blushing as he said it, feeling like it may have been a bit early to start using such words, but Phil didn't seem to care. Dan just mentally smacked himself as he reached for his favorite cereals. They sat down in the sofa with their cereal bowls and ate in silence. Suddenly Phil broke the silence, and Dan listened to what he said, nervously. “Dan.. I don't know if this makes anything any different, but the necklace you have..” Phil said, and bit at his lower lip, nervously. “..yes?” Dan said, and Phil continued. “I'm the one who gave it to you, I remember it.. those years ago, in the woods...” Phil looked at the floor, waiting for Dan's reaction, which didn't come. Dan sat there in silence, not knowing what to say, hell he didn't know what to feel. He thought that he was just grateful for what had happened, but he had been hurt as well. It came as a shock that Phil was that guy. He had changed a lot, that was for sure. “Dan?” Phil said, looking at the boy. “huh? oh.. why didn't you show up the other day when you told me you would..?” Dan said, feeling tears come to his eyes, as he remembered how he had just waited and waited for what felt like eternity. “well..” Phil said and prepared for a long story.


End file.
